it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
