Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
