I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
