did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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