yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
