Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
My ATM looks so different sober.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
