I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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