"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
