I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
