Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
