please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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