We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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