i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
