At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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