I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
