College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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