singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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