If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize