My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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