you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i came on her dog
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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