i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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