Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
