You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
