somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize