so that wasnt chicken after all
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
he had hair everywhere except his balls
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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