Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
