the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
