Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
