So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
