You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
