you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
