Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
