stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
