I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
