I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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