We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize