Porn is love you can see.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I think people are normalizing furries
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
