New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
