I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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