How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
