I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
