she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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