I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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