i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
my shit smells like andre
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You ate ashes out of my bong
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