ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
this will be a night to untag.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
