It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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