I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
