first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
