I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
