Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize