he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
