we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
These tits shall not be calmed
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