I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
