Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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