i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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