Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The air was thick with penises
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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