my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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