he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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