i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
