Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
