We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
